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 Adventures in Depression

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Cynder Dustypaws

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PostSubject: Adventures in Depression   Thu Jan 31, 2013 6:05 am

Uhm hello.

So, just updating for you guys from me.
On my life.
And stuff.


Uhm.

Crouch should know this, now, but I've come to the conclusion that I do suffer, at the moment, from a minor case of depression. I've already had thoughts of self-harm and suicide, though I decided I was too scared of pain so I didn't.
It's been a few years with no reason to feel sad, but just feeling. Well.... Sad.
It's gotten nearly overwhelming recently, to where I cannot even hold a mask up to hide it. I've burst into tears nearly everywhere for stupid reasons.
Anyway.
Yep.

Uhm.
But.
Anyway,.

I'm doing fine, and I will be.
I'll be going to Dare2Share Friday through Thursday, so I don't know when I'll be getting online. If I get a little attack of anxiety or depression, I might get on, but only to lurk.
Maybe.


Anywho.
That's about it.
Don't feel the need to comment.
Just wanted to tell you guys,
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Cynder Dustypaws

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Jan 31, 2013 6:09 am

As an addition to make myself, and you guys laugh, and summerize my entire few years under this depression, here is a link to a wonderful site.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
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Meredia

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Jan 31, 2013 7:56 am

first of all

-suffocating hug- we love youuu

next, just remember we'll be here anytime for you, and most of us probably understand more than you realise. You're one of my best friends so obviously i want you to be ok. Send a message my way if you need to.

girl, u so fabulous that ur skillz make the rest of us look bad.

it takes a lot of guts to admit that you're not ok, trust me i know. But anything you say is safe here, promise. Smile

once again, you are unbelievably brilliant and one of the sweetest and kindest people I've ever met. Enjoy your trip.


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CrouchJunior

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:10 pm

Yes, the first step toward solving a problem is knowing and accepting that you have one. That fact I respect a lot.

If you ever wish to talk, you know where to find me. I wish you well and I'm sure you can overcome this! You ARE Cynder after all Very Happy

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DeathDolohov

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Fri Feb 01, 2013 2:56 am

I'm right there with you Cynder. I'm fighting against depression too.

If you want to talk to me, come talk. I'm here for you. If you want me to pray for you, just say the word and I'll pray for you. (heck I'll be praying for you even before you say the word.)
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RavenHaven

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Fri Feb 01, 2013 3:21 am

I understand you, Cyn, I, too, suffer from the horrible feelings of depression and anxiety.

You can talk to me any time! Smile
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Cynder Dustypaws

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Fri Feb 01, 2013 5:00 am

All these people there for me.

God, I love you guys so much. Thank you.




As a further update, to get my mind off of it.



WHY DID I DO THIS?
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Phoenix Flame
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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Fri Feb 01, 2013 9:27 pm

-Big hugs for you, Cyn <3-

Well, the others have already said everything, so I'll just add:
I second all of that.
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DeathDolohov

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Sat Mar 02, 2013 2:40 am

I know this is kinda Cyn's thing but I'm gonna put this here because I didn't want to make my own thing and it didn't fit anywhere else so yeah...

My depression has gotten so much worse. I don't want anything to do with church or my family, I barely want to get on here any more.

I just feel so alone and hated. I can't step out of my fucking room without hearing my parents yell at me because I look like a boy or I want to go to some LGBT support group. I can't tell them yet because I'm still dependent and it sucks.

I just, I don't know any more.

Sorry Cyn for invading your topic thingy....
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Cynder Dustypaws

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:15 am

Don't worry about posting here, Death. Or anyone for that matter. In fact, if you need, go on ahead.



I'm sorry, Death, that you feel like this. That's not a fun feeling- at all. I've been there.
Just rest assured in the support of your friends, okay, dear?
We're always here, if you need to talk about it.

Remember that you're important, okay?
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DeathDolohov

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:58 am

Okay, so this is kinda a confession / pouring out of my soul.

I have re-occurring anorexia. I first had it when I was in middle school and, like every other girl out there, I was worried about my body image. So I worked out, barely ate, didn't drink for days on end, and yeah. I wasn't very healthy. This went on for two years and then I "sobered up" so to speak.

Well I was fine again until I was in 10th grade (two years after I went back to normal) and I started it up again. Same story as before, but this one only lasted a semester.

I'm relapsing again and this time it's for a whole different reason. I'm not feeling hungry, like at all. I can't find the motivation to get up and eat, I don't drink anything more than a cup of coffee once in the mornings. I've started skipping meals again. I know what I'm doing and I know that I should stop but I just don't want to.

I feel really lonely and isolated right now and it's killing me slowly. I just. Yeah.

That's all.
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CrouchJunior

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Feb 13, 2014 5:24 am

I'm sorry to hear this death, but you're never alone. You got all of us! Smile If you can kick it twice, third times the charm! 

If you ever need to talk to someone, you know where to find me!

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Meredia

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Feb 13, 2014 3:40 pm

Do you have anyone (close friend, etc) who can help you out? I was in a similar situation last year, and my college friends physically had to buy my food and ask If I'd eaten before I actually would. I just... forgot otherwise.

Just know you aren't alone, and people will understand. It's difficult to talk about anything like this but a friend isn't going to judge you. You should never feel like you're on your own.

*hugs*
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Wrath'stwinSinXx
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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:14 pm

It's definatley good to know that your never alone in the world. Took me a while to find the right people
*wibks at wveryone*
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DeathDolohov

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Feb 13, 2014 7:04 pm

First off, y'all are awesome. I know I say this all the time and all but still. I feel like I don't say it enough sometimes.

 Thanks Crouch, Mer, and Wrath, your words made me smile and I needed that.

Mer, I do have a friend irl that said she'd help me out. I am just scared that I'll fight her on this and lose her friendship because of how damn stubborn I am. (wouldn't be the first time).

Yeah, anorexia is a pain in the ass.
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Meredia

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Feb 13, 2014 9:08 pm

((ahh, you guys :3 ))

Have more faith in your friends, They see you at your best and your worst and still don't get scared off, I'm sure it'll be pretty hard to push them away c:
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CrouchJunior

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Feb 13, 2014 10:40 pm

Yeah Death, you're a truly amazing person and can't see how anyone in their right mind would get pushed away by you. If anything they'll be that much more persistent to stay by your side in this dire time! Smile

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Liria

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Feb 13, 2014 11:07 pm

Gonna add my two cents.

I have the same problem. Except mine is more related to stress and depression. I don't really have a problem with my body per se. I just lose the will to eat and then on top of that when I eat I just vomit it all -_-

Anyways. For me. I didn't really tell my friends. I just dealt with it on my own because I was afraid someone would tell my folks and then I was gonna have to be hospitalized etc. Etc.

So what I would do is drink a protein shakes and such. Then work up to fruit and then gradually I became a steady eater more or less, depending on the situation. Oh and then I drank a lot of water.

See if this helps! But tell your friends as well if you think that will help you.

Love you Deathy!! Smile
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DeathDolohov

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Thu Feb 13, 2014 11:29 pm

I'm going through that right now Lir. I'm just stressed and I can't find the will to eat anything and when I do I just wanna puke. It's annoying as fuck.

And, just throwing this out there, I've had enough protien shakes to never want one again in my life (gags) they're so awful.

I am gonna thank y'all again because y'all are awesome and I was scared as fuck to tell y'all about this. I'm a very proud person so when I throw myself out there that really means I trust y'all. -continues with the affectionate blab-
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RavenHaven

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Mon May 12, 2014 2:19 pm

You'd think Depression would get sick of showing up after so many years, whispering terrible things, never shutting up, keeping me from doing what I love and making me feel like shit.

Depression's a bitch.
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Wrath'stwinSinXx
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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Wed May 14, 2014 6:21 pm

I couldn't agree more. It's caused me more bullshit than I could ever know what to do with
But hey, you've got us Smile
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Meredia

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PostSubject: um   Sun Jun 15, 2014 4:06 pm

so uh, 3 years ago i got diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and 2 years ago i was given the diagnosis of someone with BPD. Even now i can't talk about it with my friends. I feel like i have to be their listening ear all the time or they won't like me. 

I've had friends that are self-serving, destructive and driven me to do some real awful shit. There are times where i feel like the happiest and luckiest person in the world, and even a day or an hour later i feel the complete opposite. I can't control myself.

But despite how it feels, it does get better. We don't realise it half the time. I can go to college now, i can stand up for myself, i know i am stronger than i feel. My depression will not be the chains that hold me down, the anxiety will not keep me bed-bound. My BPD is not going to go away - i've accepted that now - but i am not my diagnosis. I am not my disorder.

and if you ever find yourself struggling, just remember it will end soon, even when you might think it won't Smile

(plus i will be here, i understand, and i also got a heck of a lot of free time if you guys ever need me :3 )
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RavenHaven

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Sun Jun 15, 2014 4:10 pm

Very well put, Mer! I completely understand all that! I'm here for you, and for anyone else struggling with anything! Smile
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CrouchJunior

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Mon Jun 16, 2014 7:38 pm

Yeah me too guys! Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Adventures in Depression   Wed Jul 09, 2014 5:42 pm

Depression is a hard battle. It's one of the hardest battles for anyone who fights it. It will most likely be with us the rest of our lives, telling us that we're worthless, ugly, weak, and all sorts of negative things. But just like Anxiety, Depression always lies, no matter how much you might believe what it says.
I won't say "just choose to be happy", because it's not that simple. Anyone with Depression whispering or shouting in their heads will understand this. It's never that simple with Depression.

What we can choose is to fight it. It will never be easy, but it can be done, no matter what lies Depression tells you. Anyone with Depression, just know that you're never alone.


I'm feeling kind of depressed right now, and sometimes letting it out and (hopefully) inspiring people online helps somewhat.  
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